Anime Iron Chef
by Dumbledore'sDelight
Summary: Three teams from varying anime Sorcerer Hunters, Rurouni Kenshin and Gundam Wing compete for the title of best cook of all anime! Who will win? Please check it out. No less than 19 anime manga referenced by the end! Please R&R!
1. The Contestants!

**Disclaimer: **We do not own: _Gundam Wing, Rurouni Kenshin, Sorcerer Hunters, The Big O, Unico, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Hellsing, Utena, Peacemaker Kurogane, Ronin Warriors, InuYasha, Kidou Shinsengumi Moeyo Ken, Speed Racer, Shutterbox, Kaze Hikaru, Demon City, Cowboy Bebop, Teen Titans, Iron Chef _or Smokey the Bear public service announcments... Ushiro Ryu is an OC created by SiriusFan13, thus is technically her property as well...

**Anime Iron Chef**

A tall, dark-haired man steps onstage, carrying a microphone. He wears a dark blue gi and grey hakama with a conspicuous halo over his head, one of the accesories he gets to carry around for taking the time visiting earth from the crossroads just to be an announcer for this show.

He smiles warmly and says, "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls and anime lovers of all ages to this special edition of _Iron Chef_. I, Ushiro Ryu, am your host. Tonight, three teams will compete for the rank of Iron Chef. From Meiji Japan... 'Kenshin-gumi!'"

A spotlight shines down on the first cooking area, displaying Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke, Yahiko and Hiko.

"From After Colony 195, we have 'The G-Boys!'"

A second spotlight shines down on the second cooking area, displaying Trowa, Quatra, Heero and Duo.

"And from the Spooner Continent (which no one can seem to find on a map), our final group, "Big Carrot!"

A third spotlight shines down on the final cooking area, displaying, Tira, Chocolat, Marron, Carrot and Gateau. Tira, blushing as pink as her hair, is glaring daggers at Carrot. "Carrot! I can't believe you named us that!"

Marron sweatdrops. "Brother..." he says hopelessly.

Carrot does not appear to see the problem. "What? I thought it would attract girls!"

Chocolate pouts. "Well, _I_ wanted to name us the Big--"

Tira jumps up and tackles Chocolate, screaming at her.

Ushiro sweatdrops and adjusts his halo. "Anyway," he says, clearing his throat and hoping to change the subject, "tonight's special ingredient is sage."

The camera pans to a blonde man in green body armor who is sitting in the audience.

One of the judges, Alucard, a nosferatu in a red hat and jacket, licks his lips.

Saito gets ready to defend audience from the judge.

Ushiro rolls his eyes. "Not that Sage... I meant sage, as in the plant, sage. Because tonight we are having an all vegetarian meal!"

Alucard looks horrified.

Duo turns to Heero. "I told you that you wouldn't need a gun. The food's already dead."

"I'm not killing for food, baka," Heero snaps, sending an evil glare at Releena, who sits in the audience with little pink hearts floating around her head.

Wufie steps into the G-Boys kitchenette just then, wearing an apron covered in hearts and ruffles. "You _had_ to let that woman pick our outfits, didn't you?" he grumbles to no one in particular.

Duo spins in his pink plaid apron. "I think I look cute."

Heero pulls gun out of "Kiss the Cook" apron and glares. Quatra yelps and hides behind Trowa.

Ushrio clears his throat. "If I may... Tonight our celebrity judges are: Alucard, the nosferatu; Miroku, a Buddhist monk..."

Alucard shoots a glance at the monk. "It's _your_ fault this is vegetarian!"

Ushiro clears throat again, and continues. "...ChuChu, the monkey from Ohtori Academy; Spike Spiegel, space cowboy; and, because no real woman would sit by Miroku, we have Dorothy, an android from Paradigm City." After a brief pause, Ushiro adds, "We would also like to thank our doctor, Takani Megumi, and our special security, Saito Hajime, for joining us here tonight."

Ushrio smiles, trying his best to ignore the hungry look in Alucard's eyes. "Now," he continues, "ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to see what these teams can do in this _Racer X_ sponsored cookoff. You have one hour to make a three-course meal with sage in every dish." Ushiro catches Alucard looking at a very uncomfortable audience once again. "On second thought... let's make that ingredient mustard..."

Starfire stands up in audience and yells, "Yeah!" Her eyes turn into little pink hearts as she thinks of her favorite beverage.

Tetsu stands up in a nearby row and shouts, "Hey! She's not even from a real anime! Get her!"

Saito pulls out his sword and slips into the gatotsu stance.

Starfire yelps and flies out a skylight.

Meanwhile, Kenshin is using the amakakeru ryu no hiromeki to clear smoke away from Kaoru. "I think there should have been water in that pan, that there should."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Kaoru gripes in irritation. "And where is the well, anyway?"

Yahiko, who has been wandering around, testing things while trying to stay out of Kaoru's way, finds the sink. "Hey! It comes out of this pipe thing!"

This is the last straw for Sano, who freaks out and hinds under a nearby counter. "Fire with no wood... water with no well... What _is_ this place?"

Hiko looks down disdainfully and drinks some sake. "You moron," he mutters.

Ushiro throws his hands in the air. "Oh, I give up!" he snaps, his eternal patience finally wearing thin. "On your mark. Get set. Go!"

Suddenly a shot is heard. Releena falls out of the stands. She lands hard on the ground, with a suspicious looking red puddle forming beneath her.

Duo looks at Heero. "You know," he says, "the gunshot is usually a track and field thing."

Heero barely glances at him, putting his gun away. "Shut up and cook, baka." He begins to unwrap ration bars.

Alucard makes a move toward Releena's body, hoping for _some_ suitable food, but stops as the thought of an undead Releena scares him too much. Carefully (and rather dejectedly) he slips back into his seat.

Meanwhile, Marron and Tira attempt to cook while Chocolat and Gateau contribute in other, non-culinary ways.

Gateau poses in a variety of positions that show off his massive, flexed muscles. "Look at me! Look at me!"

Marron tries hard to ignore him, even though Gateau _is_ practically on top of him.

Chocolat is now scantily clad in her apron, and is slinking around like a sly cat calling, in as sexy a voice as she can muster, "Dar-ling! Where _are_ you!"

Gateau flexes right in Marron's face, causing Marron to drop the pepper he was using all over the place.

At the same moment, Chocolat finds Carrot hiding under Marron's prep table, where all of the pepper has fallen.

Carrot jumps up, screaming, "My _eyes_!"

Marron looks horrified. "Brother!"

It takes Carrot a moment to realize that Marron is concerned about the pepper having possibly worked its way into Carrot's eyes. Neither Marron, nor anyone else for that matter, seem to realize that the reason Carrot shouted in the first place is because Carrot was scarred for life by the sight of Chocolat flouncing around in nothing but an apron.

Carrot takes this opportunity to milk it for everything its worth. He runs over to Kenshin, trying to look as pitiful as possible, and glomps the poor, confused redhead. "Miss! My eyes burn! Please nurse me back to health!"

Kenshin blinks down at the man who is clutching him. "Oro?"

Kaoru doesn't miss any of this, and within moments has stomped over, fuming. "Leave my Kenshin alone!" she shouts, thoroughly confusing Carrot, who is uneasily starting to notice that the "girl" he's clutching is awfully muscular. Kaoru doesn't notice. Whipping out her bokken, she begins beating Carrot, shouting, "Kenshin's not that kind of man!"

Yahiko snickers. "Like _you_ know what kind of man he is..."

Hiko rolls his eyes, and chugs some sake, muttering in between gulps, "Baka. I _told_ you not to wear pink."

An uncomfortable flashback of Mille Fille causes Carrot to start disengaging himself from Kenshin, as the truth comes to him between Kaoru's bashing.

Kenshin, appearing clueless, calls offstage, "Megumi-dono... perhaps you should look at this man, that you should."

Megumi steps onstage and raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Is it food poisoning?"

Kenshin turns to look back at Carrot, who is trying to slink away from Kaoru's violent swings. She has now been joined by Chocolat who is dressed in very little, and is brandishing a whip. He sweatdrops. "Um... I don't think so..."

Megumi doesn't even look at Carrot. "Then he's fine," she says, walking back offstage.

Ushiro cuts in just then, looking pained. "Perhaps we should cut to a commercial break..."

Carrot has slunk over to Duo and is now clutching him. "Please, miss! Save me!"

We hear the click of a gun's safety being released, as Heero growls.

Ushiro sweatdrops. "Break! _Now!_" he shouts.

The screen goes black.

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_Author's Note: Yes, more insanity from us. And more is to come (after this commercial break, of course)... _

_Anyway, thanks so much for reading, and please review us! We thrive on it... We update because of it! (Which is probably why we don't update often anymore... - pouts -)_

_Bye!_


	2. Commercal:ShinsengumiSchoolofSelfDefence

**Commercial Break: Shinsengumi School of Self-Defence for Women**

* * *

The words: "Shinsengumi School of Self-Defence for Women" flashes across the screen.

We hear Okita Souji's voiceover speaking as announcer. "Ladies, are you tired of pervy men chasing you?"

Carrot and Miroku stand in background looking especially lecherous.

Okita continues. "And are you tired of always having to wait to be rescued?"

Molly Baker from _Sailor Moon_ apprears, nodding vigorously and waving as Carrot and Miroku sneak up behind her.

Okita's voice pops in again. "Then you need to enroll in the Shinsengumi School of Self-Defense for Women! Our skilled instructors" (the camera flashes to a shot of the original Shinsengumi leaders... minus Okita, of course, who is speaking), "will teach you such useful defense moves as _Gatotsu Punch" _(Molly does punch to Carrot who tries to grab her) "as well as my famous _Sandanzuki Move_" (Molly does sandanzuki on Miroku, who falls, unconscious next to Carrot).

Okita cheerfully continues, "As you can see, these fun techniques can turn any girl from this" (shows Relena Peacecraft, Anthy Himemiya, and Molly) "into this" (the girls transform into tough fighters, Toshie Hijikata, Kaoru Okita, and Yuuko Kondou from _Kidou Shinsengumi Moeyo Ken._) "Classes are filling up and we have a revolution to crush, so no extra class times are availiable. Please call now to reserve your spot!" A phone number is flashed on the screen.

The audience is shown, with Sailor Mars dialing the number on her cell phone to make an appointment for Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon scowls. "_HEY!_ I know how to fight!"

Sailor Mars rolls her eyes in reply. "Barely. You need all the help you can get!"

* * *

_Author's Note 2: Thanks for reading. Please review. We'll update as soon as we can. Keep your eyes open for the next chapter, when we resume ANIME IRON CHEF!_

_Bye bye!_


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